About:
27 year old girl. Edging towards real world. Stubborn. Falsely independent. Polish.
Want more?
Feels
Want more?
Feels
Slurs Sell
2006-09-25
It�s odd how long it took me to realize an unfortunate pattern. Once I gave it more thought, I saw I have been doing this forever but why? For some inexplicable reason, I seem to only talk negatively about the people closest to me. However good they are, how much they mean to me is never expressed when I describe them but only negative aspects that I don�t really dwell on till I began the descriptions.You could see the pattern here. Christina, a best friend for 8 years. Great qualities but all I ever seem to mention is that she�s a bitch when things don�t go her way. With Bigfoot, I hardly ever wrote about the good times. It�s always the fights people see. Worst thing is, that�s how others form their opinions, based on my words. At the Brooklyn clinic, everyone hated Bigfoot even though none of them ever met him. It was all based on my words and they were never good. Why do I do this? I seem to think describing the good is boring, who wants to hear that? But why focus on such small qualities when there is so much more good in those people.
I�ve been with Nick now for almost 5 months. I don�t think anybody knows what I feel towards him. I may bitch about it but the good things never come out. I hold them sacred to my heart, believing that if told no one will understand. It could be as simple as the inability to express great emotions.