The October Demise Told in November

2006-11-19

I quit my job in October and have been beyond broke ever since. Being beyond broke obviously puts you in a negative numbers and more so, in a negative state.
I fell into a two week period of horrible depression, the extent of which I haven't felt since high school. I wasn't able to function properly, get out of bed or attend school. I finally went to a psychologist and found out I'm screwed in the head and need her help weekly. Every week I manage to find ingenious ways of paying for those visits. It's only a matter of time till I can't afford my own health care cost.
I also ended my relationship with Nick. It would have been truamatizing, paralyzing, agonizing if I didn't have someone else to turn to. I've turned into a woman who fears being alone so much she cannot let go of a bad relationship until another one comes along.
I see men as stepping stones on a stream, you hop from one to another, never dipping your feet into the icy water.