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It's A Boy
2003-05-22
Natalie has a boyfriend. This great except it sort of boggles my mind, how can a person who never seeks a relationship find one so easily. I�m not looking for a boyfriend, having to come to terms that I am unable to have social interactions with a person where you actually express your feelings towards one another, and yet no opportunities are coming to me like they do to her. She broke the news to me today over the phone by saying �I broke your record.� Now I am only known for my 2 records.Record #1- My first real kiss (no counting the truth or dare kiss at age 14 where I suddenly change my mind as the guy was leaning in therefore giving him my cheek. He then proceeded to bite it. Try explaining that to your parents) happened in March of 2000 with a blond haired boy named Jake. It was great and I never saw him again. You sort of figure once you break into the whole �kissing scene� more would follow. Yes well that�s my record. 2 years of pure nothingness. I watched as Nat and Christina went through their own rendezvous (not with each other you sick perverts) and here I was unable to test out my own newly acquired skills. For my one-year anniversary, Christina made an ad advertising me.
Who can resist that? Obviously everyone.
In the end I tried explaining that Guinness World book of records approached me about keeping this up in hopes that I�ll end up in the pages and all males got a whiff of my goal therefore they stayed away. Then came Carlos and the record was shattered 5 months short of the 3-year anniversary.
Record # 2- Not much to say on this one without sounding skanky but lets just say my lips did not detach themselves from Carlos�s lips in a span of 6 minutes.
I doubt Natalie could shatter my 2 years therefore I�ve come to believe Record #2 went down the drain over the weekend. All I had to say to this was Ew Ew and Oh No.
I used to say that if I ever found myself a compatible man, I�d buy one of those paper storks you hang on the door when there�s a birth in the family it would say �It�s a boy� just because I finally found myself a boy. I figured I�d buy it for Nat but unfortunately I cannot afford 5 dollars. So I�ll just wish her good luck instead.