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Give Me A Reason To Hate You
2003-12-24
Bigfoot asked me once if I trust him. I thought about it for a while and came to a conclusion that although he may have my trust, I still have doubts here and there. Now that we are apart for a month, these doubts come into play and mess with my head like a bad paranoia trip. I am suddenly expecting to hear from him that he messed up and cheated on me.I hardly get to speak to him. He works all day and spends his nights at parties or with his friends. He calls in to check with me during the small period of time between each activity. I don�t really mind this aspect. He leaves me messages every morning or sends emails, which makes up for the lack of the communication. It�s just the fact that I am aware of how girls are in his town. I still remember him going home for the weekends and receiving numerous offers for sex from girls. Being a girl, I am also aware that nothing stops a determined female. So now that I don�t even know what�s going on there and presume that girls are after him, it all adds up to me suspecting the worst.
Even if anything did happen, I hardly doubt he�d confess to it. There is no other way of me finding out. I know I�m not giving him enough credit. And drawing my own conclusions isn�t what I should be doing. Somehow I�m finding it easier to see myself hating him for slipping up in his ways rather than accepting him as the perfect guy he is to me.