Fool In Love

2006-12-18

I don�t like the person I have become. I�m too proud for my own sake, yet so na�ve. The things I do, I feel very little guilt for. I don�t put my family first, let a man decide my own happiness. What�s wrong with me?
Then I think of who I would be able to turn to, who would snap me out of this persona, back into the old me. I think if anyone could do it, it would be Bigfoot. He knows me so well, he could bring me back, but I think he�s changed too. We forget the people we were at our best.
My current dilemma is a big jumble of agonizing actions by a certain Marine. From the very beginning this guy had a certain power over me. He�s so unreliable, so sketchy, treats me half assed when he actually blesses me with his presence. Yet I put up with it. No one understands why. They all say, if it was any other person, this would be over. It�s true but I can�t find a reason why. Maybe it�s the hope that I can change him, make him into something wonderful. I fear once I get it I�ll lose my interest in him. I cry daily over him and take it out on my family. When he�s around, I never attempt to complain, fearing he may leave forever. They say, the longer you stick around the harder it will be to get out. The other day he said he loved me and I knew, I was in for more heartache.
Silly silly girl, I have become.