There Is No Easy Way

2006-03-24

Bigfoot calls me up at one morning asking for one last request before we part ways.
"I want to say good bye, face to face," He says.
I couldn't help but reply, "Are you drunk?"
He tells me in his past relationships, saying good bye face to face was his way to get over things. And yet his past relationships never really lasted more than a month. This is a 2 and a half year on going battle. If I have to say good bye one more time, I just might collapse. Not only that, we are as always 200 miles apart. Does he really expect me to spend 80 dollars on a ticket to say two words. And what then? Do I stay? And if I do where do I sleep? How do we act?
"You make everything so complicated," He tells me.
In his simplistic world he saw me coming there saying good bye and perhaps realizing I'm making a mistake. Maybe I'd change my mind.
In my world, I see myself going there and seeing him so hurt, making my own heart break beyond the ache that is consuming it now and from the very own guilt changing my mind just to ease our pain.
I cannot go through this again. He's mad cause I wouldn't do it. I'm mad cause he requested it. There must be another way for us to separate seamlessly. I cannot resort to the silence treatment, not to a person who has shared my life for so long. Why is this always so difficult?