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27 year old girl. Edging towards real world. Stubborn. Falsely independent. Polish.
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Enlightenment Comes In a Five Tier Cake
2004-08-09
It was Gabby�s 3rd birthday on Saturday and big party was thrown in her honor. It was as if she was turning 21, minus the required alcohol. Tons of people (and children) gathered in my sister�s apartment. I was squashed between the gossipy neighbor who wouldn�t stop pestering me with questions about my labret, and Peter who happened to use a lot hand gestures when he spoke resulting in myself being whacked quite a few times. I spent the time observing everyone and after some time I realized that my long stated decision to never marry a Polish guy will have some consequences, as does dating an Irish boy already has. For instance I could never bring him to such a gathering where everyone is rambling on in Polish. It feels like you�re being dropped on foreign soil with no communication skills. But then I noticed not choosing a mate of my own nationality is like going against the grain. For some odd reason people of the same language seek each other out and mate ferociously. My sister never had an actual American boyfriend but had tons of American friends. Me on the other hand, never dated a Polish guy and never had any Polish friends. I am, what others consider, completely Americanized. The irony of it all is that to Americans I�m still foreign because my accent comes through. The first question anyone asks when they meet me is �Where are you from?�, �America� I tell them to see if it will fly over. They laugh and turn serious again, �No really, where are you from?�This, for some reason, has been bothering me for years now. I�m never enough for any group to be accepted truly. And as Gabby�s birthday raged on, I realized that I should give up trying to fit in with that group and go on with my Americanized-self onto something else.
On my way out I grabbed a Spongebob yo-yo which I believe will help me on the road to self discovery.