10 Years Of Denial

2004-07-02

If I were to point out an exact time where my life changed it would be July 2nd, 1994. It was a day where my mother, my sister and I packed our lives into 9 suitcases and left for New York. We woke up early in the morning to head for Warsaw where the plane was leaving from. I was excited and anxious, a na�ve little 10 year old girl. We left everything that was known to us and stepped into a strange world that is New York City.

What a shock that was. For someone who�s never seen a person of color other than white, I was fascinated with everyone around me. But that fascination can only last so long. Soon I was crying to go back �home�. Any ideas of belonging anywhere began to distort themselves. I refused to call Brooklyn my home but whenever I visited Poland, it never felt the same. I see my life into 2 stages. 10 years spent in Poland, 10 years spent in U.S which all lead to one confused person. After spending last summer in Poland I�ve realized I could never go back there. Too many things have changed or maybe I�m just looking at them differently. Most of all I am no longer that little girl who left that place. If my life is divided into 10 year stages then I must hurry and settle myself in a new place for the next upcoming phase.