Fickle Pickle

2004-04-06

My plan was to go home on Wednesday and spend Easter with the family. However the stresses that kept on building up through out the weekend and the week led me to repeat over and over �I just want to go home now.� I got bad. So bad in fact that on Sunday morning I told Bigfoot that we should break up. My reasons made sense at that time. I couldn�t handle all that was being put on me and my own set of problems, much less I couldn�t drag him through my own drama. The best thing I figured was for us to separate for time being. He didn�t say much except for stating that he�s confused. After leaving his room, I saw him getting into her car and speeding off. He spent the whole day and night there and returned to the dorms on Monday. I was heart broken, naturally, but in my own frantic mind, it was for the best.

Monday morning my roommate had a whimsical idea that we should simply screw all our classes and responsibilities and hop on the next Greyhound home. God was it tempting. Just the thought of leaving without a word and being home away from everything left me running around the room grabbing my clothes and shoving them down a duffel bag. Just then an IM box popped up on my computer screen. It was Bigfoot and I knew then that I wasn�t going anywhere. I couldn�t leave without talking and once we did, everything was all right.

Next plan I conjured up was to leave today, after Politics. My bus would get to the city by 8pm and I would have an extra day at home to spend lounging around. Yet from the moment I woke up, I had an awful dreadful feeling about the trip. I haven�t taken Greyhound since �97, Amtrak is my mode of transportation. Also I didn�t want to leave Bigfoot so soon. Today, being our 4-month anniversary, I felt obliged to stay with him. So in the end, I am sticking to my original plan. 4 days at home aren�t much but in a month I�ll be back there for a pig sweating summer in the city.

But now I know, never to rely on my own spontaneity.