About:
27 year old girl. Edging towards real world. Stubborn. Falsely independent. Polish.
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I Pity The Fool
2003-12-22
I�m starting to wonder if I really have a good heart or am I just plain old stupid? Seeing as if I am the only person in this family who actually carries on a conversation with my father, I am leaning more towards me being stupid. I don�t know why I smile and talk to him as if nothing has happened. It reminds me of my younger years, back when my father would sober himself up from months of drunken oblivion and when my mother and sister would refuse to speak to him. I felt sorry for him so I was always the only who would be by his side. But that was so long ago, back when I was still his little girl. One thing hasn�t changed though, me feeling sorry for him. I speak to him because I pity the man who is so whacked in the head and is too far to be saved.Because of him there will no Christmas in this house. I knew there wouldn�t be one, once mom broke the news of his affairs in November. She isn�t putting up a tree or spending money on gifts. We might have a small dinner but that�s about it. One thing that may come out of it is our trip to Florida. Mom, my sis, Gabby and I are all flying out on Friday. Among them, the big wish is that El Daddio will be gone by the time we�ll return. The big wish in me is that he won�t approach me to explain his side of the story. I can�t take being torn apart.