Friends Forever Or Till Now?

2003-10-29

Our 1 hour conversation consisted of reminiscing the good times. Besides my family, Natalie is the one person I miss the most. I never really wondered through the memories that we shared but being away from her for so long I started to realize how big of a part she plays in my life. I miss being in her house and falling asleep on her bed. Or going out every evening to a diner and sitting there for hours, talking about nothing at all.

She was supposed to be here with me, sharing this college experience. She was supposed to be my roommate, not Katy. Yet I began to realize our paths were separating during the summer, when her college work was nowhere near done. So by the end of August when she finally told me her decision to stay in the city, I wasn�t surprised. That day, we sat in the diner and cried. Life without each other seemed bleak. I couldn�t imagine that after 5 years things were coming to an end.

�It�s not the end.� She said. �It�s just the end of an era.�

In the beginning of the school year I was angry. I tried making her feel guilty that I had to go through this on my own while she sat comfortably back in Brooklyn. Then I realized that maybe this is what I needed, a new start on my own without her beside me. Now I can�t imagine doing this with Natalie living here as well.

I�m scared of us drifting apart. On the phone we talk as if the 300-mile distance was nothing but a short walk. But so much has happened now in our separate lives that it�s hard to tell it all without it lacking the true meaning.

I�ll see Natalie next month when I�ll go back for Thanksgiving. I already requested her companionship for a whole day because that�s all she can spare me. Till then though I�ll hope that the distance or time hasn�t changed us.