Lunch Nazi Hearts Bigfoot

2003-10-24

The last guy friends I had were gay twins back in high school. Therefore I�m finding it odd to have a heterosexual male friend with an active sex life. Bigfoot (name created to protect privacy) and I have bonded over the last 2 months. He is my replacement buddy when my roommate is working. He stays with me for hours on end, sits with me at the dinning hall and most of all, entertains me till I have enough. All was well in this wonderful friendship. And then he had sex with the lunch lady.

Actually we call her Lunch Nazi. She�s a younger red head who snorts when she laughs and falls of her chair on various occasions. Bigfoot gave her a hug once and instantly she proclaimed her lover for him. He claims the only reason he did the deed was to get us free food. Yet while chewing down on my free brownie, I began to realize this situation wasn�t making me happy. I did not want to share Bigfoot with anyone besides my roommate. Us 3 were an exclusive club that no Lunch Nazi had the access to. Few days after his rendezvous, Bigfoot came to a conclusion that it is inhumanely impossible to spend more than an hour around her, due to high annoyance levels. The Lunch Nazi was dropped like a hot potato.

Yet the news spread quickly. I don�t know how it works in this world of young adults but it seems that whenever females hear that a certain male �nailed� a girl, he becomes that much more attractive. Now not only is the Lunch Nazi trying very hard to get him back (more free food), but also there are 2 other girls who expressed interested. Now Bigfoot is no stud so it all boggles my mind. He seems to enjoy the attention.

�A hug is all it takes.� He says.

I may be selfish but there are so many more males out there, why must they pick on the one person whose company I enjoy? I hardly see him anymore. He�s always in the lounge area, macking it to anyone who�s ready and willing. I can�t force him to be around me though I did try. I even resorted to a guilt trip, claiming he used me a step on a social ladder. It didn�t work. I contemplated why all of this was bothering me so. Only one thing came to mind, jealousy. I�m a green monster around those girls.

Gah, I knew heterosexual males are nothing but trouble.