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School Of Hard Knocks
2003-04-29
Seeing that I have 12 more class days left till the end of the school year, I got a bit reminiscent and decided to make myself a list of all the things I learned in my high school over the span of 5 tear jerking, hair pulling, high screaming, knee grabbing, boob punching years. Or maybe that�s just the title for my one-woman act show I plan to perform in the nearest subway station. For your convenience I decided to list my earned knowledge in a list because by golly I love them lists.1. Never sit on the stairs. You never know who peed on them last.
2. Upon hearing moans and groans, turn around quickly and find another exit. Those awkward moments when you interrupt a �quickie� are never pleasant.
3. A daily mouse sighting will become normal. Get acquainted with the classroom rodents, it will be easier to swallow the fact that they�re casually strolling past your foot.
4. An unusually large cockroach in the girl�s bathroom is the main reason why you should avoid all public bathrooms.
5. The door-less bathroom stalls where you see the roach will help that avoidance.
6. Never think you�re Superman while jumping of a 3 stair stoop, it will lead to a torn muscle.
7. Just because the school is located across the hospital, does not guarantee you an ambulance, or a stretcher or even medical attention for that matter.
8. Seeing a sea of red and blue doesn�t mean white is missing to form the American flag, chances are Bloods and Crips are at it again.
9. After seeing thongs, bras and Speedos and some things eyes should never be subjected to see, you�ll understand why Pajama day was canceled.
10. When your teacher is out for more than 5 months chances are he was either attacked, slashed, beat up or had a nervous break down courtesy of the student body.
I don�t like to brag but my school can beat your school�s ass.