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Use Your Brain
2003-04-16
It�s a common knowledge that I make an ass out of myself at any given opportunity. Such moments have now been dubbed the Joanna moments, for the lack of a cleverer name. It is a moment where something comes up and a normal person would act humanly cool while I, with my zigzag brain, do the most embarrassing thing that could have been done in such case. I don�t know if yesterday would be classified as a Joanna moment, but it sure is a showcase on how my brain works.It was around midnight when Christina and I were standing in a diner lobby. After a fulfilling meal we were too tired to walk home. Even if the walk takes 10 minutes. We decided to call a cab. While patiently waiting for it to arrive, she suggested we should take the bus. The cab wasn�t coming after 10 minutes and I was getting irritated. We remained standing in the lobby, with me leaning against the main entrance door. People were streaming in and out, half of them saying �excuse me� so I would move out of the way and not block the door. The thing is, the door I was leaning on had a big red sign �Use the other door� with an arrow pointing to the door beside me. I wasn�t blocking the sign, that�s sure. So after the 5th person asked me to move, I angrily pointed at the sign.
�These people can�t read� I scoffed.
After 20 minutes, we realized the cab isn�t coming. The bus became our only transport. Except any bus at midnight, runs every 40 minutes. The bus stop was right outside the diner so if we saw it coming, the plan was to run out and flag it down. Suddenly I see something that resembles it.
�Christina!� I exclaimed running over to her. �It�s coming! Let�s go!�
Without even waiting for her I dashed back over to the door with so much speed and BAM. Head first into the broken door that refused to open for me. The sign �Use the other door� gracefully fell on top of me. It was actually quite funny once I got over the shock. The bus passed us by unnoticed. Christina called the cab again and with my forehead swelling we were driven home by some Russian guy who didn�t speak a word of English and was convinced that we lived in Queens.
Today I have a lovely purple bump smack dab in the middle of my head. It�s a reminder of how little I use my brain. I also kept the sign, maybe maliciously hoping that someone else would run into the door as well. Then we�d team up and sue the diner for reckless endangerment.