About:
27 year old girl. Edging towards real world. Stubborn. Falsely independent. Polish.
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My Mistake My Hatred
2003-03-30
It was about 10 o'clock when I opened the door to my sister's apartment and saw him. Yes him, for he has no name. Saying that name will be like acknowledging his existence, but he doesn't exists to me, he's nothing. He saw me standing in the door way with my ripped t-shirt and sweat pants covered in cat's fur. My first instinct was to turn around and leave, and I did so without a word. Next thing I know, my sister is in my room telling me to get dressed and come over because he wants to see me. I flatly refuse. She calls me the biggest loser on earth and leaves. I crawl into my bed and trying to block out the fact that he's next door, basking in my defeat.It's impossible to describe how low he makes me feel. He's a sleazebag that got what he wanted, me. I hate that grin of his, it's as if it's mocking me. I hate that he works for my father, and everything time I see the work number on call I.D it just might be him calling.
Most of all, I hate that I slept with him.
Natalie gave me this quote. "There are easier things in life than finding a good man. Nailing Jell-O to a tree, for instance."
At this point, I rather have a jello and nail a man to a tree than anything else.