Tripped & Fell

2003-03-13

At 5am, while talking to Hasan the topic of my relationship with Carlos came up. Hasan asked me if I was over him. The relationship ended in December, I had plenty of time to get over him. Truthfully, I was over him the day after the break up.

Hasan proceeds to tell me that Carlos was in love with me, which is just a hysterical thought. How can you be in love with me, when we hardly went out for a month? How can you love me when our relationship was purely physical. It wasn't love, it was lust. I tried to have good conversations with him. I really did take the time out to call him every day but it was just awful. I sat there listening to him repeat his stories that I've heard 3 times before. I was scratching my eyes out wondering what was I doing. The fact that I stuck with him for more than a week was a miracle in itself.

Now I hear that he's not over me. Once again I find that hard to believe. Before he was with me, he was dating a girl for a year. 1 month after their break up he went out with me. My point is that he may have still some feelings for me but that's probably till some other girl comes along. He'll probably claim to love her. Hasan claims that guys fall in love easily. He fell for Natalie within a week, Carlos within a month. I'm starting to think they're just easily impressed.

Though sometimes I envy them. I wish I would have that much faith and will to "fall" so easily.